“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak”
Do you sometimes feel like you’re easily controlled, manipulated and pushed around? You find you ask yourself why this keeps happening? Are you just being too nice and accommodating? Is it the energy that you’re giving off that’s making you prey for people that are willing to take what they want, leaving you feeling used.
Is it because the people that do it are masters at it, or maybe they don’t even know what they do. Whatever the case, you need to protect your energy and yourself because you’re the only one who will.
Until you really dig deep down within yourself and find your strength, courage, bravery and power to use your own voice, you will never be able to stand against it and stand for yourself.
WHEN YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT and you communicate it to others clearly, they are less likely to try to control, manipulate and push you around. They will move on to someone else. Let’s face it, not everyone in the world is nice and is looking out for your best interest.
So how do you achieve this?
Change your energy by going within, being still and quieting your mind and listening. Find out who you are and what you want in life. So you can set up healthy boundaries to protect yourself from anything that isn’t in line with what you desire.
What are healthy boundaries? They are invisible lines in the sand that you choose to draw. And then you ask yourself…is this going to work for me? Or no this is not going to work for me.
This is your life and you get to decide how you want to live it. Period. I know this is hard sometimes depending on where you are in your life, it was for me. Especially when it’s natural for you to be nice, but being nice and letting other people push you around is not the same thing.
When you continually go inward to find your strength and draw from it and apply it in your life, things will start to change. Find the courage and strength for YOU.
Go Deeper Spiritually With Prayer And Meditation.
You can experience immediate relief from anything that you’re going through in your life. As you diligently show up daily you can be transformed.
Learn to put yourself first making you the most important person in your life. You are the only one that will always be with you. Unfortunately, we’re not taught this as young women. After speaking to hundreds of women and from what I’ve experienced in my own life. We’re taught to be nurturers, caretakers, thinking of others before ourselves. We’re taught to be nice, kind and sweet. This is great but not everyone in the world plays by the same rules, so to speak. Not everyone wants to be nice and kind, and care about your best interest. They care about their best interest. So it’s necessary to put yourself first as a woman.
Some girls learn this early on, they have no problem expressing themselves, communicating their hopes dreams and feelings to others. They have loud voices, and loud energy and they have boundaries in place where you wouldn’t dare cross.
Some of us have to learn this skill but it can be learned.
It’s your job to control your own life, your energy. To look at your dreams and goals, to make your own choices and decisions. To think your own thoughts. Don’t be willing to change for someone else.
Some of us are not loud, we don’t try to control and manipulate others and push people around. We want to live in peace and we respect others, their boundaries, ideas, voice and their views on life. We don’t rule with an iron fist.
Once we find our strength within, our confidence and self-esteem, we can then lead by our calm and confident manner which is more powerful in the end. Sometimes you find it and lose it but that’s ok because you can always get it back by going to the calm place within yourself.
How do you do it?
I’ve read hundreds of books, took courses, listened to great teachers, studied and applied what I’ve learned to better myself, help myself to learn and grow as a person. I’ve found that everything really is inside of you already, anything that you could possibly need. You have to continuously go within yourself to access it.
Here are some things I’ve done and continue to do.
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Prayer / Meditation
Stop everything and go inward daily. Be in the present moment, block the world out, calm yourself, find your center. Say a prayer or just an intention of peace. Ask and listen and take guided action.
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Breath Deeply
Deep breathing goes hand and hand with meditation. Consciously being aware of your breath. Be in the present moment. Breathe In deeply through the nose filling your entire abdomen, out through the mouth. If you find your mind wandering gently bring it back to the breath.
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Spend Time In Nature
It’s very grounding, being outside with the earth, trees, sun, nature.
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Walk, Exercise, Stretch, Practice Yoga
Any kind of exercise and moving your body especially stretching and yoga for me wrings out the tension in the body.
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Free writing in a journal every morning (try for about six pages)
The habit of journal writing without editing and just freely purging your thoughts on paper is very good for your mind. (Your writing is for your eyes only) I learned this skill in a writing class but anyone can do it, you don’t have to be a writer. It purges random thoughts and opens space for creativity and lets you get in touch with your true self, thoughts, ideas. It helps you think clearly.
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Visualize, Daydream, Imagine
This is one of the most valuable things you can do because your looking at the best version of your life, of yourself rather than looking at where you are currently. It’s how you in your mind manifest your future. You can be happy where you are while pursuing other dreams.
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Be Grateful and Thankful
Everyday appreciate something. No matter what your current situation is, there is always something to be thankful for. Being grateful changes your energy, it lightens and opens you up for more.
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Eat Healthy and Drink Plenty of Water
Feed your body with good nutrition makes you feel better.
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Help Others Without Forgetting Myself
It always makes us feel good when we do a good deed for someone.
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Write Lists, Goals, Think, Plan, Organize
Writing lists makes you feel organized and in control, and it’s empowering when you cross off items that are on the list. Thinking about future goals and writing them down gives you something to look forward to.
This practice will get you in touch with who you really are and what you really want. These skills will help you sort out your thoughts so that you can then set up healthy boundaries because you know what you want and what you don’t want. And you can find your voice to speak out and tell others NO and be comfortable with it. That’s not what I want and you can do it in a way that you’re comfortable with because you’re sure of yourself.
Life is truly a journey one that can be wonderful if we take the time to learn the skills to help us. All of these exercises have been life changing for me and my hope is to help you.
Remember to put yourself first. Go inward to connect with your true self so that you can find your strength and courage to put up healthy boundaries and not be a people pleaser and you can live the life that you imagine.
Love and Light,
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