HOW TO PUT AN END TO YOUR ‘NEGATIVE SELF TALK’ (and get your life back)
If you’re anything like me and most people
You aren’t even aware of what you say to yourself in your head all day, everyday, until you actually take notice.
I read this in a book years ago when I started my deep dive self improvement journey. I read so many books, anything that I could get my hands on, by a vast majority of authors in self development.
There was always a common thread with all of these Authors (teachers), who have worked on themselves to rise, heal, achieve a greater awareness. The common thread was YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. What’s in your head is everything. What you think, you become. So the most important thing of all is to get your thoughts right first, and everything else falls into place.
It’s not always easy, but it is doable, and is so worth it. You will see great changes in your life when you put an end to your negative self talk. I know I did and I still do, because it’s something that we have to constantly work on.
Negativity is one of the worst things for our mental health.
Negative self talk is one of the most dangerous. Why? because people who tend to talk negative about or to themselves seem so determined to be right that it can be very difficult to convince them otherwise, until they experience an aha-moment. negative self talk will continue to limit their self-esteem to the point where it can get dangerous.
In this post, I want to show you how to end negative self-talk while staying realistic, and why you should do it NOW.
Sometimes people think that negative self talk is just being realistic, and that’s simply not true. Some people can’t even take a compliment, they think that you are lying to them.
Negative self talk is not realistic
If you think that being judgmental of yourself makes you realistic, it’s simply not true. You just choose to focus on the things you don’t like about yourself and ignore and take for granted the things you do.
Now, I’m not saying you should act like everything is perfect and disregard things you’re not satisfied with and live in denial. That would actually be unrealistic. We all have to work on ourselves all the time. Keep trying to improve our lives and to become a better version of ourselves.
If I ask you to tell me something positive about yourself, or someone else, I’m certain you would find more than one.
When you believe in something, you always look for the signs to prove you are right. It doesn’t matter if it’s about something positive or negative, if you believe it, you will see it. Believe your great!
Ending negative self talk, as many other things in life, takes time.
You have to make an effort and work on it. It’s like you want to lose weight or shape your body. You can’t just imagine it and say its not working.
This is something you have to commit to and have it on your mind all the time. Eventually, it will become a part of your personality. This is not a post on 4 ways to end negative self-talk. This is one way that includes all of these steps. So let’s begin:
If You Have Nothing Nice To Say, Don’t Say Anything At All
How we talk to ourselves becomes our inner voice. Negative self-talk can bring nothing good. You need to tell yourself beautiful things.
Example..Instead of saying to yourself ‘I don’t like my hair’, say instead ‘I need to freshen up my hair’-don’t focus on the fact that you’re not happy with how your hair looks. Focus on how good you will feel when you get that haircut and color. Instead of saying ‘I”m tired’, Say ‘I can’t wait to take a nap or go to bed’. Imagine how good you will feel when you are in your comfy bed. If you’re not happy with how you look in your clothes, don’t say,’I Look fat or horrible in them’, say ‘I look better in something else’.
You choose the thoughts that will lead you, by telling yourself nice things.
This way you’re not ignoring the things that bother you or you’re not satisfied with, but you’re focusing on getting them out of your way and on how good it will make you feel once they’re gone.
And I will tell you a little secret: Sometimes they don’t go away altogether, but they stop bothering you. That is the power of positive self-talk.
Improve Your Vocabulary
In addition to the previous step, this one is not just focused on negative self-talk but on changing your vocabulary, even when talking to other people to positive. You need to completely lose the phrases like ‘I hate’, ‘That’s ugly,’ ‘This is disgusting’…and change them to ‘I don’t like,’ ‘That’s less beautiful then’, ‘ That’s not very nice’…saying those negative words out loud cannot in any way bring anything positive into your inner self.
By constantly using words like “I hate” as a part of your everyday vocabulary, you’re letting that feeling of hate go through your body all the time, and it reflects on you. It becomes your inner voice and you start to use those words when talking about yourself, it’s a chain reaction and you’re not even noticing it. Try to be easier on yourself. Say something like ‘I would like to work on that about myself a little more, to get better at that.’
Treat Yourself Like You Would Treat A Guest
Most people, when they have a guest coming, bring out their nicest things. Nice dishes, that are only used for these occasions. Same goes for the tablecloths, beautiful sheets, if the guests are staying overnight and the list goes on. And why is it like that? So that our guests would feel good and welcomed, right? I guess it’s not a problem to put an effort into making someone else feel good. But when it comes to ourselves, we pretend like we don’t care, like it’s not important to us.
Sometimes when people are at home, they don’t take the time to even brush their hair or put on anything nice to wear, or even straiten the house up. But all those things make you feel good.
I care how I feel and look and I do it for myself, even if there isn’t anyone around. Always treat yourself like you would treat a guest. I like beautiful things, and I use all of my stuff.
Treating yourself like you would treat a guest reminds you of those special things you enjoy. As time goes by, your point of view changes and it makes you see the best in any given situation. Like enjoying the morning ritual of drinking your coffee out of a beautiful mug that you bought for yourself. And slowly, without even realizing, it results in ending negative self talk because you stop thinking about the negatives and focus on the things you enjoy.
End Negative Self-Talk By Showing Your Best
‘How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you’
To round up this list of actions that will help you end negative self-talk, let’s focus on the way you present yourself when you’re out. How you talk to yourself is how you’re letting other people talk to you.
Don’t worry about what other people say about you. If you want to think about what other people say about you, think about the ones who said nice things. Focus on the good and the good gets better.
Show respect for other people-It makes you look confident. Be kind-it makes other people want to be in your company. But the best of all is to show people a smile, it makes everyone, including you feel good.
If your child or your friend would talk negatively about themselves, the first thing you would do is point out the positive traits. That is exactly what you should do when you start with the negative self-talk.
For more self-care inspiration you can read my other posts on my blog.
I hope you found this helpful, have a great day.
Love and Light,
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